April 2016 3 Years Later

It’s now been 3 years since my egg freezing.  A lot has changed but also remained the same for me.  I did not update last year (2015) since it was pretty uneventful.  I continued to explore holistic healing modalities to help with my PCOS.  On my anniversary (March 2015), I received the bill from NYU for storage.  The cost remained the same at $1000.00.  I called in to pay the bill and my eggs are safe and sound.

This year on my anniversary (March 2016), I was expecting the bill for storage. However, I never received one.  I called NYU several times in March to follow up. (I’m unsure what NYU’s procedure would be if the person did not pay for storage but I did not want to risk it.) Someone finally called me back and informed me that they were changing their billing system.  There was an issue and it would be resolved before April.  She said to wait till April and if I did not get my bill to call back.

On April 13, 2016 I still not receive a bill so I called.  No one had returned my message.  I decided to just avoid the hassle of the back and forth to go directly to NYU and just pay the bill.  On April 14, 2016, I walked in.  Spoke to a bookkeeper about my concerns.  She said that the bill was mailed at the end of March.  She double checked my address and I paid the bill. Finally the next day April 15, 2016, I received the bill.  Hopefully next year I will not have to go through the hassle of coming in.

Just recently, I received in my e-mail a survey from NYU.

Here is the info below they requested.

“You are receiving this email from the NYU Langone Fertility Center (NYUFC) because our records indicate that you underwent an elective egg freeze cycle at our center. We are asking patients to complete a brief anonymous survey describing their experience during and after the egg freezing process. The purpose of our study is to better define the implications of egg freezing on women’s lives after undergoing the procedure.  We performed a similar smaller survey a few years ago and the results of that survey* were found to be helpful to women throughout the world. As the number of women freezing their eggs has increased exponentially, we felt it was time to redefine trends in elective egg freezing.”

It goes into detail about how the survey is anonymous and confidential.   My participation is considered voluntary and it will not affect my eggs or the care I receive from NYU if I need to use my eggs.

The survey questions were varied.  It took about 10 minutes and you could easily skip a question if you didn’t want to answer it.  It felt like it was a marketing survey, trying to get into my head. To understand the psychology behind someone deciding to do elective Egg Freezing.  Some examples of the survey questions are:

1. Why I did I freeze my eggs?

2.Have I returned to use my eggs?

3.Would I use the eggs if I did not have a partner?

4.  How it has changed my dating life (if I was single, etc…)?

I answered the questions the best I could.  I really feel that freezing my eggs was a very powerful thing to do.  It gave me peace of mind.

On a side note, since the egg freezing, I don’t feel like my body has come back.  I’m not sure if it due to the procedure or just aging.  I’ve had several injuries which have prevented me from exercising as well. I’m sure it is a combination of all of the above.  I have had significant weight gain since the procedure.  Over the past 2 years I have gained almost 20 pounds.  I have also dieted and try to lose the weight.  Last year for 3 months I did an 1200 cal diet and was only able to lost 5 pounds.  During that time I was doing crossfit which helps you gain muscle mass.  I’m looking to eat cleaner and moving to use less toxic products.

As of right now, I have not decided to use my eggs.  They remain frozen, a gift from my 34 year old self.  I will be turning 38 this year in July.  After reading the older blog posts and looking back on this experience, I can feel the shame and embarrassment that I felt having to get my eggs frozen.  I really came from a space of scarcity.  I felt I did not have enough time or that it would be too late.  Now that it is said and done, I am relieved that I did take control of my fertility.  I am still mindful of the people I share this information with but it doesn’t carry that much power over me.

I have one friend who at 38 (turning 39) decided to freeze her eggs last year.  She went with Dr. Berkeley as well and she had a successful egg retrieval with 52 frozen eggs.  Her experience was similar.  She had symptoms of Ovarian Hyperstimulation.  Although for her she did not have the same peace of mind.  She feels scared of not meeting someone or not having children.  I have friends of friends who have decided to do it as well.  It seems to be gaining a lot of media attention. Celebrities are openly talking about it now. When I did it the technology was just approved by the FDA and was still considered borderline experimental.  I am happy that more and more women are aware of it and taking advantage of what’s available to them.  Just recently, I was talking to my aunt and she said her co-worker just had her first baby at 51.  I’m unsure if she used donor eggs or was able to use her own but it kept me hopeful for the future.  I do not feel ashamed of it anymore.  My friends have been super supportive and really admired I took the leap.  It was comforting to know that.  I felt so alone while going through the process.  Knowing what I know now, I think I would have been more open and allowed a select few in for some support.

The last 3 years I did go on countless number of dates through online dating, meeting men at events/bars/networking, at the gym, activities.  In past posts, I shared that when I was dating someone I would have a hard time letting go of that person. In my head, I was thinking that I was too old to be so picky (clearly that was my ego). I would go against my intuition. Now I can let go of that person so I can create the space for someone who I truly want to be with.

Just recently I started dating someone exclusively.  It is fairly new and I’m unsure where it will lead.  It has been a really hard process to learn to be vulnerable since part of me wants to control the outcome.  I know for now that I do care for him .  My intuition is telling me it’s right.  We have discussed what being married means to us and what having children means to each other.  Now I’m sure you are asking if I have told him (or any of the men I dated) about my egg freezing.  I did not feel it was appropriate to.  This was not coming from a place of scarcity.  I think it is coming more from a place of self preservation.  It is a soft spot for me and I hold it close to my heart.   I know that I can be easily wounded by it.  Also I don’t think it should not be a factor in the direction our relationship will take.  If someone wants to be with me they will be with me:  eggs or no eggs.  If anything, it will benefit both of us later if ever we needed to use them.

Thanks again to D for the shout out!  I hope I was able to answer your questions and I look forward to next year’s post.  I will update as need be if I ever end up going back to NYU to use them.  Hopefully, I will have good news at next post.  Thanks for the your support and please share this info with everyone you know who is considering egg freezing.  I think the more educated we are the more empowered we become.  My hope is this will be covered by insurance so all women can have access to it.  Our fertility should not hold us back from having what we want. Egg Freezing has given me the freedom able to choose a partner that is right for me and it can do the same for you.

All the best!

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